Get The Jump On Bullying

Will your child with Asperger Syndrome or a similar condition be bullied this school year?  Unless you have an unusual situation, the odds say yes.  If it happens, will school staff respond appropriately?

Ah, there’s the rub.

In my state, North Carolina, the legislature recently passed a law to help prevent school bullying.  But the North Carolina Department of Public Instruction already required state school districts to have anti-bullying policies, so why did we need a law?

A story about the legislation in the June 29, 2009 Charlotte Observer sheds some light.  Here’s the way the story starts:

“Students and administrators might as well be living on different planets when it comes to school bullying. Students across the state say it is common for bullies to taunt and hit them or their classmates, and for teachers to do little to stop it. Superintendents and principals say bullying is a small problem and policies to discourage it work well.”

Talk about a disconnect.

To be sure, there are teachers and administrators who do recognize the scope of bullying and work to correct it and prevent it from happening again.  But evidence shows that this is not the norm.  Bullying is unofficially institutionalized in many of our schools.  Partially because it’s not well understood by many school staff members.  Partially because it’s so difficult to deal with.

We’re now starting to see research that shows the negative effects of bullying carry into adulthood, and damage both the victim and the bully.  North Carolina is now the 40^th state to enact anti-bullying legislation.

These laws are a move in the right direction. But they’re not enough.

Laws are no better than the way they’re applied.  As parents and educators, we’ve got to work with school staff to help everyone involved better understand bullying and how to prevent it.  To help ensure these laws have the effect they’re intended to have.  And to supplement them in the gaps they can’t cover.

One portion of the new NC law attempts to prevent witnesses from turning a blind eye.  It requires that a school employee, student or volunteer “who has witnessed or has reliable information that a student or school employee has been subject to any act of bullying or harassing behavior shall report the incident to the appropriate school official.”

That’s a good thing, as far as it goes.   But my wife recalls discussions with our son’s teachers where they explained they couldn’t address complaints of harassment because they didn’t hear the harassing comments.

That response could have been an excuse or a sincere answer.  Either way, it didn’t address the problem.

Bullies quickly learn to harass victims where teachers can’t see or hear them.  It becomes a challenge to upset a student who’s vulnerable and act innocent when confronted.

Some schools are quick to act on physical bullying, but tend to dismiss verbal harassment, which can be devastating to children.   When my son, Drew, was in high school, he became frustrated when his teachers’ response to reports of taunts and insults was, “Just ignore it.”  He points out that Asperger Syndrome made that virtually impossible for him.

The best anti-bullying programs involve an active prevention program.  In talking with students who have Asperger Syndrome, my wife and I have found they are frequent targets of harassment, because they’re vulnerable to being manipulated.  We’ve also found that educating classmates and school staff about Asperger Syndrome can dramatically reduce incidents of bullying.

This works in two ways.  It prevents some children from bullying in the first place.  These are mainly kids who didn’t have malicious intent, but were just making fun of a student who was different without realizing the consequences.

But awareness education also protects potential victims from diehard bullies, by engaging receptive classmates and school staff to intervene and prevent harassment.

As a concerned parent or educator, here’s what you can do:

1. Learn about the anti-bullying laws and policies that affect your school and work to ensure that your school’s staff is aware of them.
2. Form a parent support group to advocate on behalf of special needs children.
3. Work with other parents and school staff to develop and use programs to educate students and staff about bullying and how to prevent it.
4. Talk with your children or students about bullying and tell them what you want them to do when they encounter it.
5. When your child or student reports being bullied, take the report seriously and follow up.

The Anne Arundel County Public Schools in Maryland developed an awareness program specifically designed to educate students and staff about Asperger Syndrome and autism.  You can see information about their, “Building Bridges” program on their website at:http://www.aacps.org/specialed/resources.asp.  Programs such as this can go a long way towards preventing harassment of students who appear different to classmates.

I’d heard too many stories of students who suffered in silence because they came to believe nothing could be done to protect them from bullies.  Feeling helpless is a terrible way to go through school.

If you’re a parent or teacher, this is the year you can make things different for your children.  By letting them know that you’re aware of the problem.  That you’re on their side.  And that you’re not backing down.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR -- Dan Coulter is the producer of the DVD “Intricate Minds: Understanding Classmates with Asperger Syndrome.”  You can find more articles on his website:www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2009 Dan Coulter      All Rights Reserved.     Used by Permission.