Bullying and Tragedy
By Dan Coulter
This week, thirty-two people died
at the hands of a disturbed student at Virginia Tech. Thirty-three
people, when you also count his suicide.
I was struck by statements from a number of
people who had responsibility for comforting the friends and family
of the victims. They said there was no one particular thing you
could say. Often you just needed to be there to listen. I think
that's wise counsel. This is a searing, unimaginable loss, felt in
his or her own way by every person in mourning. My heart goes out to
them.
What I know of this tragedy comes from
media coverage. As usual after such an event, much of the coverage
I've seen tended toward the sensational, but portions may help us
understand some useful things about what happened.
I saw an Associated Press story today by
Matt Apuzzo. It quoted former classmates of the killer, Cho
Seung-Hui, describing how Cho was bullied and teased in middle
school and high school.
In the story, a classmate described an
incident in high school when Cho remained silent, looking down after
an English teacher had called on him to read aloud in class. When
the teacher threatened him with an "F" for participation, Cho began
to read, but used a strange, deep voice.
"As soon as he started reading, the whole
class started laughing and pointing and saying, 'Go back to China',"
recalled a student who'd gone to high school with Cho.
Another former classmate described students
in middle school who were "really mean" to Cho, pushing him down and
making fun of the fact that he didn't speak English well.
While this is only part of the picture, it
seems clear from the writing and videos Cho left behind that being
bullied and harassed had a terrible impact on him.
I wonder what people will take away from
this.
I hope they don't start seeing everyone who
is bullied as a potential mass murderer. Something else that comes
out of the coverage is that Cho was treated for mental illness and
had lost touch with reality.
But I hope people do see the anguish that
bullying and teasing can cause.
I've heard again and again from parents
about children robbed of any joy at school. Kids who just want to be
accepted and "treated like everyone else."
Who suffer stomach aches from the fear of
being preyed on. Kids with tremendous potential being made to feel
like nothing.
And yes, there are some kids who bullying
may push toward violence.
If you've watched the news coverage about
the Virginia Tech tragedy, you've probably heard commentators and
experts talking about what we might do to prevent such attacks in
the future. I've heard suggestions about profiling, increased campus
security and a range of other options.
But one practical thing we can all do, is
work for anti-bullying programs that educate both students and
teachers in our schools. While such programs can help millions of
students who wouldn't harm anyone, one also might touch a life in a
way that could help avert a tragedy in the making.
In addition to mourning the lives lost at
Virginia Tech, working to enrich and preserve lives in the future is
a memorial available to us all.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR - Dan Coulter is the
producer of the Intricate Minds series of videos that help
classmates understand and accept students who have Asperger Syndrome
and autism. You can find more articles at his website at
