Kids Count on Consistency
By Dan Coulter
If you’re a parent or a teacher, can your kids or students count
on you? I mean, do you think about being consistent so they know
what to expect?
Kids who have Autism Spectrum Disorders, in particular, often benefit
from guidance that’s structured and consistent.
If a child has a habit that you want to modify, or needs to learn a
skill, consistently reinforcing a behavior can help make it a part
of that child’s repertoire.
Try looking at the teaching process from his or her point of view. If
we allow poor table manners at home, but try to enforce proper
manners in a restaurant, we’re sending mixed messages. It’s much
more practical for kids to learn one set of manners that’s
appropriate for both situations.
The world can seem chaotic to kids with ASDs. Think of them as pilots
trying to land their planes. It’s hard enough to land on a stable
runway on the ground. But navy pilots will tell you it’s a lot
harder to land on an aircraft carrier deck that’s heaving on the
waves. As much as possible, we need to be the stable runways that
our kids can depend on -- and consistently guide them toward
behaviors that will be appropriate in the majority of situations
they’ll encounter.
I read something the other day written by a teacher who described a
challenge with a former student who was autistic. This student would
sometimes express affection in ways that were inappropriate for a
regular school classroom. The teacher gently redirected him toward
other, more appropriate behaviors. However, some of his other
teachers found his affectionate behaviors cute and encouraged them.
The behaviors continued and caused the student increasing problems
with teasing as he entered middle school.
This writer urged other teachers to guide their students’ behaviors in
light of the student’s best interests, and to be consistent.
In Scotland County, North Carolina, they’re restructuring a local high
school of 1800 students into nine smaller, semiautonomous learning
academies or “schools within a school.” To ensure that Scotland
High’s programs are consistent with the needs of the real world, six
advisory boards with business, community and teacher representatives
are working together to establish the academies.
Each academy will have its own guidance counselor and every student
will be assigned an adult advocate who’ll stay with him until he
graduates. Teachers within an academy will meet weekly to consult
about the students they have in common. So instead of seeing a
student only in light of the subject they teach, instructors will
get a sort of “360 degree view” of each student. They can then
develop coordinated, consistent teaching approaches based on an
individual student’s needs.
While we can’t look to all our schools to restructure on this model,
having parents and teachers find ways to bring a student’s teachers
together to consult frequently is a goal worth pursuing.
My son, Drew, who has Asperger Syndrome, had an instructional aide in
high school. His aide mentioned how helpful it was to meet
frequently with Drew’s English teacher and an in-class support
special education teacher. They’d compare notes and discuss teaching
strategies so they could be consistent in helping Drew. School staff
also set up a system to get feedback from Drew. Every Friday, Drew
would meet with his school case manager and his aide for a “week in
review” session. They’d discuss Drew’s performance, encourage his
progress and set goals for the coming week.
Speaking of feedback, we can sometimes throw up roadblocks to getting
good input from our kids without meaning to. Have you ever asked a
child about something he did and listened attentively if you liked
the answer –- but, if you didn’t like his answer, interrupted him to
criticize him and tell him what he should have done differently?
Most of us have. Tends to shut off the information flow, doesn’t it?
Being consistent in listening to answers we do and don’t like can be a
more effective approach. If you can steel yourself to ask questions
and listen during your “research” conversations, then consider your
approach and calmly offer your guidance a bit later, you may find
you can collect more accurate information to work from.
Using this feedback, along with other input, you can determine a
child’s greatest needs and come up with a plan with consistent
actions you can take to help him learn key skills or modify his
behaviors.
Here’s another thought on feedback from kids. If you don’t get
satisfying answers to your questions, it could have to do with how
the child’s brain processes information. If he hasn’t thought about
a subject, pressing him for an answer may cause him to clam up, or
agree with something you’re suggesting just to end a conversation
that’s stressful for him.
You may want to try telling him today to think about a subject that
you’d like to discuss tomorrow. If tomorrow comes and he still can’t
tell you, say, what classes he’d like to take next year, you may
want to offer him some choices, explain some of the options, and
come back to the subject in another day. It may take a series of
consistently calm conversations to help him consider what you’re
asking and give you useful input. This can also help him learn about
the process of considering alternatives and making decisions.
Consistency in discipline is also an effective learning tool.
Some of us, parents and teachers, have problems modulating our
discipline when we’re in a “mood.” If the same behavior in a child
draws a sharp reprimand when we’re tired and stressed, and no
comment when we’re calm and relaxed, we’re not basing our guidance
on what’s best for our child or student.
Think of the ways being consistent helps us in society. Traffic laws
say we have to signal before we make a turn, whether there’s anyone
in sight or not. If we get into the habit of signaling only when we
see other drivers, we risk not noticing someone, not signaling and
causing an accident. That’s why the law tells us to signal
consistently.
Think kids need to experience some inconsistency so they can learn how
do deal with it? Don’t worry, there’s plenty of inconsistency built
into daily life. There’s no way to avoid it. But offering
consistency where we can, like always putting daily homework
assignments in the same place on a chalkboard or whiteboard, can be
a real benefit for students. As a backup, you might place homework
assignments on a website where students know they can always access
them. Steps like these also can help show students the value of
being consistent in their own lives.
Being consistent doesn’t mean being inflexible. I think the best
combination is to be consistent in offering guidance to our kids,
but flexible in adapting to their needs. And there should always be
room for creativity, spontaneity and fun in any plan you draw up.
Consistency should be a launching pad for creativity, not a weight
holding it down.
Ralph Waldo Emerson often gets misquoted as saying, “Consistency is
the hobgoblin of little minds.” What he actually said was, “A
foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.”
And thoughtful consistency in parenting and teaching children is
anything but foolish.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter has written and produced
numerous special needs videos, including, "ASPERGER SYNDROME:
Success In The Mainstream Classroom." You can find more of
Dan's articles at:
www.coultervideo.com.
Dan hosts an Internet radio show, “Life In The Asperger Lane,” at 12
P.M., Eastern (US) Time, on the second Saturday of each month on
Autism One Radio at
http://www.autismone.org/radio/
Copyright 2006 Dan Coulter All Rights Reserved
Used By Permission
