Saying What We'd Want To Say
By Dan Coulter
My wife, Julie, and I lost a close
friend recently. Bella died quickly and unexpectedly of a heart
attack. It was a real shock. The kind that makes you look at your
life and how you’re living it.
Bella and her husband, Mike, were
very close. So much so that it’s hard to imagine one without the
other. Mike told us that he only regretted not being able to say
goodbye.
He didn’t say he regretted spending
too little time together. They shared interests and spent a lot of
time with each other. He didn’t say he wished he’d treated her
differently. Whenever we saw them, they showed their appreciation
for each other in all sorts of ways. Being with them was comfortable
and fun. They were constantly building each other up. They were
happy together and expressed it.
As much as Mike misses Bella, he can
celebrate her memory without getting caught up in what he might have
done differently.
Which brings me to the “looking at
your life” part, particularly for those us with children on the
autism spectrum who have behaviors that can be trying.
What if we closed our eyes and
thought about learning that we might lose the people closest to us?
Imagine the things we’d want to tell them. About how much we
appreciate them. About the strengths they have. About what they
mean to us.
Now what if we stopped imagining, and
opened our eyes, and told them?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the
producer of the videos, “Understanding Brothers and Sisters with
Asperger Syndrome” and “Understanding Brothers and Sisters on the
Autism Spectrum.” You can read more articles on his website:
www.coultervideo.com
Copyright 2008 Dan Coulter Used By
Permission All Rights Reserved
