Teachers and Social Skills
By Dan Coulter
A while back, I wrote an article
about having your first experience teaching a student with Asperger
Syndrome. With so many teachers encountering students who have AS,
I decided it’s time for another chapter.
To illustrate both the positive
aspects and challenges of Asperger Syndrome behaviors, I’ll share an
encounter that my son, Drew, had in high school. He was outside the
school building in a sea of students waiting for his ride, when he
saw some guys he didn’t know smoking cigarettes.
Drew impulsively said, “You know,
those things cause impotence.”
One of the guys responded, “I don’t
give a F---!”
Drew, in full Asperger mode,
instantly observed, “Of course not, you won’t be able to.”
This left the smoker speechless as
his two companions collapsed in laughter.
While this sounds like a verbal
triumph for Drew, it also demonstrated his inability to see that
making a negative comment to a stranger was probably going to
generate hostility. While he displayed his quick wit, what he said
was not likely to make him any friends. It might even create an
enemy, if the target for his humor felt the need to retaliate.
Still, it was a great line.
And it demonstrates how smart and
funny a student with AS might be.
Or not.
Two students with AS can be as
different from each other as any two other randomly selected
students in your class. The thing they are most likely to have in
common is difficulty understanding how to “read” others and interact
as their peers do.
So one of the most important things a
teacher can do for a student with AS is not academic, it’s social.
Helping these students develop their social skills is like giving
someone with squeaking, sticking bicycle wheels a can of oil. Think
of social skills as a human interaction lubricant that can help them
succeed in the real world.
Academic success was never Drew’s
problem. His SAT scores would widen your eyes. But he was lonely
early in high school because he couldn’t seem to connect with
classmates.
Then one of his teachers invited him
to an after school Dungeons and Dragons game group where he met others
with similar interests. Voila! He made friends. He’s had a way to
connect with others ever since. And success breeds success. The
more a student with AS learns to interact with a few friends, the
more capable and confident he’s likely to be in dealing with other
classmates. I think this teacher’s influence played a role in Drew
successfully asking a girl to his senior prom.
In college, Drew joined a D&D group
and made new friends. After graduation, he took the initiative to
form a group in our town that plays D&D and other games. The
members of this group share other activities.
Drew is now working part time and has
gone back to college to get a second degree. Developing his social
skills has made him a lot more happy and confident. And it’s a
continuing process. Being able to interact was an important factor
in getting his part-time job and it will be a crucial factor in
getting a full time job in a tough economy when he leaves school.
If you’re a teacher, you know that
academics are important. But the things you do to help a student
with Asperger Syndrome develop socially may be an even bigger
life-success factor.
Oh, and avoiding cigarettes couldn’t
hurt either.
* * *
ABOUT THE AUTHOR – Dan Coulter is the producer
of the video, “Manners for the Real World: Basic Social Skills.”
You can find more articles on his website:
www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2008 Dan Coulter Used By
Permission All Rights Reserved
