Asperger
Syndrome: Put Those Kids To Work!
By Dan
Coulter
We’d do anything
for our kids with Asperger Syndrome.
Is that always a
good thing? Hmmmmmm. Hard to say. It’s good if we can figure out
what we need to do for our kids versus what they need to do for
themselves. And that’s not always easy. Maybe an outside view would
be good. I talked with the director of a high school job placement
program for special needs kids and she laid it on the line, “I think
these kids are too often...well...babied. They need to do more for
themselves."
You should know
that this program director, Mary Beth Berry, cares passionately about
her charges. She’s amazingly persuasive at getting employers to give
the kids in her program real work experience during part of their
school day. She’s an expert at job coaching and building confidence.
I respect her opinion.
How many of us
sometimes think of our kids as chicks with broken wings? How
many sometimes have horrible visions of plummeting crashes if we push
them out of the nest to do things on their own?
Let’s think back
on our lives. Didn’t we learn some of our most important lessons from
our failures? Are our kids really that fragile? Sure, there are
thoughtless people in the world, but there are also great, helpful
folks out there. And we’re not going to be around forever. And our
kids can’t succeed until they try.
Another job expert
I spoke with, Asperger Syndrome advocate Dr. Peter Gerhardt, talked
about helping a young man learn to ride the train to work. They
talked about it. They rode the train together. But finally the day
came when the young man had to ride to work alone. Peter said that if
he could have run next to the train all the way to the job, he would
have. But it went fine. And that daily commute became a normal part
of the young man’s work life.
As Peter says,
work is a defining characteristic of our lives. One of the first
questions we’re asked when we meet someone is, “What do you do for a
living?” If people with Asperger Syndrome don’t have the opportunity
to work, they’re cut off from a key part of life, not to mention a way
to support themselves.
Okay, we’re all
sold on the importance of work. Now here’s part two. And it’s a
biggie. We want our sons and daughters to work. They want to work.
But how do they find and hold a job? Unemployment is distressingly
high among people with AS. How do you beat the odds?
You start early.
Take the attitude
that your child, at whatever skill level, is going to work. Talk
about jobs and get him thinking about what he’d like to do. Does your
son want to do something that sounds impossible? Be realistic, but
aim high. He may not become an astronaut, but maybe he could work at
NASA, or maybe at an airport. Of course, some people may be extremely
happy filing reports for a living, and that’s great, especially if
organizing is your child’s passion.
Our kids tend to
have intense special interests and often have extraordinary
abilities. If we can channel these qualities into a paying career,
we’ve hit the motherlode. So wherever you go, encourage your daughter
to look at people working and consider if she’d like those jobs.
Encourage her to talk with people about their jobs. What are the
job’s responsibilities and duties? What education or training do you
need? What are the good and bad things about the job?
Help your kids
understand the job interview process and what an employer is looking
for. Get a book or magazine about applying for a job and help your
children learn the process.
Help them learn to
realistically understand their strengths and challenges and how to
advocate for themselves.
Most of all, get
them some work experience as soon as possible. Paid or unpaid.
During school vacations, if just managing schoolwork is
all-consuming. The best way to learn work skills is to work, whether
your child is going directly from high school to a job, or plans on
going to college or vocational training first. Remember, there’s a
lot more to working than specific job duties. A large part of a job
can be arriving on time, following directions, staying on task,
knowing safety procedures, getting along with co-workers and other
“surround” issues.
Let’s revisit the
chick-from-the-nest analogy. The best crash avoidance we can offer is
flight training. We can make sure that our kids’ Individual Education
Plans include transition planning beginning at age 14 as required by
the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. We can work with our
kids’ schools and with social service agencies to help our kids find
part-time jobs during their high school years with understanding
employers. Job coaches can help our kids learn a job until they’re
ready to go solo.
And we can train
our kids to increasingly advocate for themselves so that when they
look for a job on their own, they can present themselves as the kind
of capable, hardworking employees businesses want to hire. And, if
necessary, they can educate their employers about how AS affects them
and negotiate any needed accommodations.
We won’t go into
detail here discussing the Americans with Disabilities Act, reasonable
accommodations and disclosure issues. Think of that as homework.
Today, let’s just
get determined to get our sons and daughters real work experience as
early as possible.
When my son was
diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, my wife and I had a lot of
questions, including: could he ever hold a job? Now, he’s a veteran
of two successful part-time jobs and is working toward a career in
forensic science.
He’s already
accomplished more than we -– in our worst moments -– ever thought
possible. Here’s a lesson: don’t let your worst fears limit your
kids.
Let's give them some
preparation, give them some safety nets, but get them out there –- and
give them the chance to blast past our expectations.
Dan
Coulter is the writer/producer of the videos, “ASPERGER SYNDROME:
Transition to Work" and "ASPERGER SYNDROME: Transition to College and
Work." His website is:
www.coultervideo.com.
Copyright 2004
Dan Coulter All Rights Reserved Used by Permission
