Interviewing Mom

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By Dan Coulter

How well do you know your mom?

You might say, “Hey, she’s my mom!” Yes, I’m sure you know a lot. But how much do you know that’s not solely tied to what she does for you?

Maybe you’ve already bought your mom a gift or planned something special for Mother’s Day. In addition to that, why not give her something really personal? An interview.

I have Asperger Syndrome. I know how easy it is to assume Mom knows how much you appreciate her. It took me a long time to understand how much it means for a mom to hear that out loud. It also can take time for a son or daughter to see Mom as a person who has more to her life than the family she loves. It’s easy to take what moms freely give. It’s not always easy to understand how to give back.

I found that when I want to understand something better, one of the best ways is to ask questions. A great way to understand a person better is to interview that person.

So, why not interview your mom? It will show her you’re interested in her life, and give you insights that can help you show you care. If she asks “Why?” tell her the truth: you want to know more about her.

You can make up your own questions, but here are some you might want to include.

  • What’s your favorite color?

  • What’s your favorite song?

  • What’s your favorite place?

  • If you had a day to yourself to do anything you want, what would you do?

  • What makes you happy?

  • What makes you sad?

  • What’s your least favorite chore?

  • What was your favorite childhood toy?

  • What’s a great memory from being a teenager?

  • What’s a great memory as an adult?

  • What’s your biggest worry?

  • What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t done yet?

  • What’s something I could do that would make your life better?

  • What is your hope for me?

  • What’s something I don’t know about you that would surprise me?

When you ask your questions, listen carefully to the answers. It’s fine to ask follow-up questions, but keep the focus on Mom. Even if you think you know the answer to a question, you may be surprised.

It’s kind of ironic that so many little girls who were raised on princess stories of being rescued by a prince, turned into rescuers in their families. Girls became women who became moms who provide daily rescues with encouragement and band aids. With left-behind lunches and homework ferried to school. With long hours of research and never-ending efforts to help their children who have challenges.

Doing an interview can give you ideas on ways you can “reciprocate rescue” your mom. Even though she’s an expert, Mom will appreciate being on the receiving end of a bit of rescuing.

Especially if it comes from you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dan Coulter is the author of the upcoming book, “Life in the Asperger Lane.” You can find more articles on his website at:

© Dan Coulter 2012 Used by Permission All Rights Reserved

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